Stresses and marraige being new parents of twins

Stresses and marraige being new parents of twins

by Mrs. Amberly Coffman
(Vian, OK)

As new parents of twins, my husband & I have experienced some overwhelming emotions. We do sincerely believe that we have the greatest gifts of all from God. But out of honestly, there is also a great deal of stresses to go right along with the twin package.

It is obvious that there will be financial stress since you have to buy baby items for 2. Which from the moment we found out that it was twins, I started purchasing diapers. I have stocked up from preemie-size 2. To help with this issue.
But there is little sleep for me as the nursing mother. He tries to sleep in our room but then ends up on the sofa. I know he needs his sleep. But I need a dose of "I love you." Some intimacy would be nice. I just want him to hold me and let me know that he loves me. That he sees me trying to do my best for both the twin babies and our whole family.

Truth is: There is little time for us. I have 5 boys ages 6 years and under. I home school all of them. I have a son with special needs and challenges.THEY NEED ME... & him.
I have so much on my plate and I always have to go back for seconds and sometimes thirds.

I greatly enjoy being a mother & even a mother of twins. But I'll admit that it is a challenge that never ends. And I worry if each child is getting everything that they need and deserve. This website does help relieve my worries because I get a chance to communicate with others who are experiencing some thing in life like me...

With lots of love and warm thoughts to all the twin moms out there and mothers of multiples. Each prayer I pray for all twin moms and families. It is a wonderful experience.

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Stresses and marraige being new parents of twins

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Aug 19, 2010
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i hear you
by: moira

it is hectic indeed. I have twin girls and a son, I also feel sometimes that i am loosing myself. no time for myself and husband. it is difficult, but I find communicating with him helping a lot. he should know

Aug 16, 2010
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MAKING TIME FOR HUBBY
by: Marisol

I'm a mom of 1 year old identical twin girls. I'm currently staying home to take care of them and truly love it. But am now searching for day care and work! So on top of all that has to be done during the day, I have the stress of job hunting with no success. My husband works crazy hours and gets to spend about an hour a day with the girls. On weekends he is out doing all the errands but also spends all his free time with us.

He always tells me how amazing I am but I tell him how amazing he is too! We have no free time for us, but the daily hugs and compliments makes up for a lot. I can't wait until the girls are a little more independent and we can make more time for ourselves.

Aug 15, 2010
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I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING
by: Bonnie Stewart

I really do sympathize with you. My twins are 16 months old now. It has been a beautiful time but probably the most difficult time, too. Our twins are #6 and #7 for us. I nursed both babies exclusively for the full year (actually I still nurse them). I did not ask my husband to help me during the night, either, because I knew he had to go to work in the morning. I guess for 16 months now I've really been needing to hear from him that he appreciates my efforts. I start to feel sorry for myself because most of my needs go unmet, sometimes even a shower. Then I start thinking of all of my husbands needs that are also going unmet, and I realize that I can act fairly petty and selfish. I know he is struggling through this time, too. I'm cranky fairly frequently and overwhelmed. I love all of my children, but I get so overwhelmed with all that is required of me. We have the 7 children, I work two jobs, and my husband basically has two full time jobs. Our oldest is a senior in high school, so I struggle to give all the differing ages some balance and happiness despite the intense life of raising twins. I feel for you and hope you can continue to be optimistic about where you are at in life. You have many demands and you don't know if you can please everyone. Just do your best, and know that there are other moms of twins who support you.

Aug 03, 2010
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Stress & Marriage
by: Christina (MN)

I just have the twins but I have Cystic Fibrosis and I work 40 hours a week outside the house. IT is hard. I was on leave for 3 months after the babies were born and I would just get up to feed them and then when I went back to work it would be both of us and it went so much faster. I did nurse for 2 weeks and then went to formula. I just could not do the nursing, breast milk from a bottle (to make sure they get enough) and then pump on top of that. So we just went to the formula and then everyone could help out and I could sleep. My husband and I still have the momoments where it is CRAZY!!! But we have had the kids sleep over at my parents twice now and they are 15 months old. My kids are CRAZY:) haha they are the biggest blessing! Yes, like someone else said "God only gives you what you can handle." Just hange in there and take some time for your self! I go to Target with one kid or after they go to bed I go ALL BY MY SELF. I might not need anything but i just need to get out! Hang in there You can do it:)

Aug 03, 2010
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I really admire you!
by: Magda

Wow... I really admire you!

Don't forget that "God never give us more than we can handle", even if sometimes you feel like you can't breath with all the things you have to do during the day. Just by reading this I can tell that you're a very special woman, so I'm sure God is on your side every minute of the day.

I'm also a mother of twins (preemies, born at 30 weeks). The first time we "adventured" to get out of the house to have lunch, another mother of twins saw us and said "believe, it's going to get better". Maybe she saw how exhausted we were. And she was right, it does get better.

God bless you and your lovely family!

Aug 03, 2010
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Wow
by: Jessica

When I read the title of your story "Stresses & marraige being new parents of twins" I thought I might have some encouraging words. But then I read how many children you have and I realize that I only have two. You are going through things that most women will never even know about. However, I do know how you feel about breastfeeding them both. It is A LOT of work...and you are lacking sleep. It is hard to think when you are that tired. My husband was never a middle-of-the-night kind of man. I always did the night feedings alone and it does get lonesome. Just try to keep your chin up and remember that in a couple of months they'll be sleeping longer and you will be sleeping more...and you'll feel so much better. Before I gave birth someone told me "Don't even THINK the word DIVORCE for the first 4 months." I didn't know what they were talking about until those nights when I was deliriously sleepy and he was in the bed snoring! But I will give you that encouragement also. Don't think too hard about the marraige issues right now. Just try to get through these first crazy months of no sleep and I promise it gets better.

You are quite a woman to home school your children, have a special needs child and also have twins. You are my hero! Good luck to you.

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