Questions about twin parenting

by Tanya
(Fairburn, GA)

I am concerned about showing favoritism. I have 3month old fraternal girls. I would like suggestions on keeping them separate but equal.

Also too, at 3 months are they aware of the other twin?


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Hi Tanya!

I think every twin parent worries about bonding with one twin more than the other at some point. Sometimes one baby may be much more work in terms of sleeping less, crying more or being fussy or colicky and you end up needing to spend more time with that baby. You may feel like you are neglecting the 'good' baby who needs less attention from you.

I think sometimes people are too concerned with the twin factor and doing everything equally. The truth is - you can't, just as with raising any children. You can love them to pieces - but each relationship with you is a little different. And as they grow and pass different developmental stages and milestones your relationships will change again. I wouldn't worry about favoring one over the other - you might be enjoying the quiet time with one baby more than the other right now - but that can change as they grow! Love them each individually for who they are and you'll be fine :)

At 3 months of age I don't think remember my twins really being aware of each other but it will come. I remember being somewhat disappointed that they didn't immediately show interest in each other. They will though - they are aware of each other's sounds - breathing, crying and their scent - but babies at this age don't yet stare and focus on each other - it will come though - right now they are more likely to almost seem to ignore each other :)

Best of luck with raising your twin girls!

Kim