Premature Twin Boys Coming Home!

by Marcus
(Granville, Oh)

I'm a father of three girls ages 10, 5 and 1. We recently gave birth to twin boys(premature) and are coming home in 3 days for the first time. They spent almost 2 months in the hospital after birth and to be honest, I didn't get to spend much time with them while they were there.

Now all of a sudden, it seems I have to take on these two amazing boys and I am clueless on what to do. I think I have done a great job with my girls, but I am at a loss in taking care of my boys. Any suggestions?

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How exciting for you that they are finally coming home ! Congratulations :)

First off, you are already a wonderful father to 3 little girls - so have the confidence in your ability to parent 2 little boys! I have 2 girls and 2 boys, and quite honestly, the boys are WAY easier to parent than the girls ( less emotional.) Now each child is different of course but you've already done it three times !

When babies have an extended stay in the hospital it can be different for the parents in a lot of ways, and maybe that's more of what you're referring to. You probably haven't had the chance to really bond with your boys yet , as they were too fragile and under specialized care. A lot of parents feel almost jealous of the doctors and nurses who are able to care for their infants when they can not.

Really - they were not ready to come home yet - but now they are, so try to treat them just like any of your other newborn children when they arrived home for the first time and start the bonding process. Don't feel too bad about not being able to be at the hospital a lot - they are too young to ever remember and the reality when children are born prematurely, is that families still have to work, pay the bills and tend to other children.

It can be a little nerve-wracking when preemies first come home as you're used to seeing them hooked up to monitors that beep and warn you of breathing apneas etc. Premature infants are fighters. They tend to grow up bigger, stronger and healthier than full term infants in a lot of cases - almost as if they are making up for a poor start.

Your older children will be a huge help - involve them as much as possible. They'll love to fuss over the little guys. Your one year daughter will have a harder time adjusting as twins take a lot of work and time in the first few months . She is no longer the baby of the family - and she's been moved out by not one, but two babies. Make an effort to give her one on one attention and make her feel special - you may see some tantrums or regressive behavior in the beginning until she understands that her little brothers are here to stay :)

I wish you all the best with your new babies and wonderful family . I'm sure it's been a huge rollercoaster ride through the pregnancy. The hardest part is over and you're starting a new chapter. I'm sure you will be an amazing father to your boys - don't doubt yourself !

Thanks so much for writing - feel free to keep in touch and send in pictures and/or your story!

Kim